Friday in cinci...

We are tired ... oh so tired. The past 3 days have been exhausting in every way. But Carsyn has been amazing ... I mean really, i can't even explain how amazing she has been through everything. Giving doctors knuckles and introducing herself when she meets them, making friends with strangers, cackling laughing in a way that makes everyone who hears her laugh ... in so many ways, she has shown the strength and beauty of her spirit. I am so proud of her and her go with the flow attitude through all that she has had to endure these 3 days.

Today, when I was driving, I was praying and asking God for strength and energy and patience as we continue to walk this thing out. I was thinking about the past fews days and feeling so incredibly exhausted. The more I thought about how exhausting things had been, the more exhausted i became. The more i allowed myself to wonder why this sweet angel has to go through all of this stuff and how 'unfair' that feels, the more frustrated and emotional i got .... 

And as all these thoughts and emotions are running through my head and heart, I hear this verse deep in my spirit:

'I do not consider myself to have embraced it yet. But this one thing I do: Forgetting what lies behind, and straining forward to what lies ahead, I keep pursuing the goal ...' Phil 3:13,14

And in that moment, I felt a new sense of focus and strength come over me. I felt God reminding me to forget what is behind ... to keep my eyes on the prize and my focus on Him. To be intentional about dwelling on His goodness. To choose thankfulness in a time where, quite frankly, it was feeling hard to be thankful. I have a choice everyday ... we all do ... to choose to stay focused on the prize, to look ahead and draw strength from where we are going, or to allow the past to drain us. We have a choice everyday to be thankful for what we have, or frustrated that we don't have what we want. We are learning to choose thankfulness and to focus on the prize .... and it is good. We are continuing to discover first hand how God has this beautiful way of making all the hard stuff good ... really, oh so good. 

Dwelling in His Goodness and choosing thankfulness every step of the way ... we are learning so much. So grateful for this trip and the way He is strengthening and stretching me and our family.