vision

When I was playing soccer here at UT, we had fitness every Tuesday. We called it 'hell day'. And there was always this tremendous dread you felt about Tuesday. The minute Tuesday was over one week, you would already be dreading the coming Tuesday. Its kinda funny looking back on it now ... how worked up we would get about something so small, but we did. And the thing that always pushed us through the pain was the vision of winning. Knowing that the pain of our 'hell day' was for a purpose. That the pain we had to endure was for a reason ... and we all knew what that reason was. We wanted to win, and we would do anything to achieve that goal.

So much of life I can relate back to my time playing and coaching soccer. I have always loved good quotes and sayings, and there is one that I always went back to on those Tuesdays that I dreaded as a player ...

'Vision gives purpose to pain.'

And as we have been here in Cincinatti this week, that quote has been stuck in my head. Vision is so important. Knowing what the pain is for, helps you endure. I do not think there is a harder thing in this world than watching your children in pain. It is the absolute worst, most helpless feeling that I can think of. And that has been the hardest part of this trip. We know why we are here, and we have to remind ourselves so many times ...

This is worth it. This is worth it for her life, for her future, for her independence ... this, this right here is worth it.

Her pain level the past couple days has really increased, and we have to hold her through this stuff for 45 mins at a time while she screams and begs us to stop, and it absolutely sucks. Worst.Thing.Ever.
But there is a vision for her life. And this vision is full of FREEDOM. And there is always a price to pay for freedom, and its not always easy. This isn't easy, but this is worth it.

The thing about those Tuesday 'hell days' that I remember most, is that those were the days where our team became a family. Those are the days where we were really becoming unified as a group. Its in those moments of pain and weakness and vulnerability that we became stronger. We grew so much because of those 'hell days' that we walked through together...

And I can see that in our family now. I can see how everything we have walked through with Carsyn the past 3 1/2 yrs are tools that God has been using to create an unshakeable strength, resolve and love in our family. I can see how God truly does make everything beautiful - even the stuff that we wish we didn't have to go through - He even takes that stuff and uses it to create something more beautiful than we could have ever dreamed. And right now, on this trip ... this trip that has felt oh so very hard at times, I see Gods hand in it all. I see Him taking the hard stuff and making it beautiful. I see Him strengthening our family and drawing us closer together than we ever have been. And the vision of Carsyns future, of our familys future, is so beautiful and it we have purpose for this pain, and it is good.